Monday, February 14, 2011

DAY 11, 12, 13 we drink way to much

Day 11:  1/23/11(surprisingly nobody shat on the 1/22/11) 


DUNF
8+1(stained the BOWL)=9 
"The Creature of the Black Lagoon"
After nearly sharting my pants I ran down here and out came a creature! I could hear his deathly howls and screams coming from the murky bowl I peaked down between the wickets and saw pure black water! 
______


Dom
-1(WHERE IS THE TP)
"3 AM" 
It's fucking 3 AM I'm shitting my brains out theres no toilet paper! Someone give me sleeping pills!!
______

Reese
6
"Morning Glory"
Woke up in need of relief, farted and is sounded funny this was overall a glorious dump.
______

Asian Brian
7
"The 2 for 1 SPECIAL"
After a delicious China wok dinner with Dunf I came in to shit rite after. 2 nice logs.
______

Day 12:  1/24/11 


DUNF
6
"Nightmare on Spruce St."
First things first this poo is straight Di-di and everything that could have gone wrong with this dump happened... Deuce walks in and decides to stare at me the whole time which for one made me uncomfortable and two broke my concentration. Then I get a phone call from Frankie and when I was finally about to whipe the TP was out of bowl distance so I had to hobble over with a wet ass to get it.
______

Asian Brian
6
"The Phantom SHIT"
Normal shit but when I went to wipe there was nothing in the bowl...
______

Dom
6
"Salvation on Sand Mountain"
While reading my book I proceed to take a very relaxing shit. I now understand why my dad always reads while he's taking a shit.
______

CHAV
4
"Premature Baby"
Honestly just felt so much pain pushing this shit out. Looked down to see a baby and all there was is a floater the size of a nickel.
______

Dom
3
"Primevil"
As I sat, squeezed, pushed, pulled, prayed and wiggled. I finally got this beast out of my ass it was still alive so I had to beat it to death with this book and a roll of TP.
______

Selario
2
"THE PINCH + GO x2"
So I bring this chick home with me to go upstairs to go to my room. I plan on laying the pipe we start ripping each others clothes off and as I'm about to get my pants off I pinch my cheeks together and say hold on I gotta talk to my roommate. She says to me if your not back in 5 minutes I'm leaving. So I haul ass down the steps to the bathroom and let as much shit out as fast as I can. I run back up the steps into my room bang the girl tell her to leave and run back to the bathroom and finish my SHIT!
______

Day 13: 1/26/11 


DUNF

"SPLASH MOUNTAIN" 
Usually it makes sense to poop before you shower but I didn't have to go and then mid shower I feel my ass starting to tighten up followed by a few wet and slippery sharts I jump out of the shower balls ass naked dripping wet and hop on the toilet oddly enough I have never felt more dirty after a shit in my entire life now I have to totally re wash myself! SMH
______

Dom
3-(3)=0
"Worst day ever"
Have to read a book by tomorrow to study for an ECON test and go to the lib. I need a lot of adderall I wana go HOME! This place is not real. OH AND NO POOP CAME OUT!
______

CHAV
2
"liquid PROTEIN"
watery chunky substance chocolatey color. GOD BLESS THE VORTEX!
______

Selario
5
"The Roman Candle"
Nothin like playing with fireworks first my stomach gets attacked with explosive pain followed by a flury of furious shit out my ass. It shot out like a roman candle first came out the single turd paused for about 5 seconds one came out again and then the process continued about 4 more times. Help me!
______

Stay tuned for more poo

Friday, February 11, 2011

DAY 9 and 10 a place we like to call home

Day 9 and 10: 1/20/11 1/21/11 


Dom 
3
"The 5 Things I hate about POO" 
1) The time it took 
2) The pain
3) The texture
4) The amount
5) The lack of relief when it was over
______

Quinn
6
"Broken Cherry"
Hey boys first poop in the book it was a harsh enjoyable shit that I am glad to share thanks to Vladamir and Andre. Enjoy your blackout
(First and foremost he doesn't live here I just posted it to show you how gay he is)
______

Mitch
8
"B^2"
A combo of beer and BK shit: runny but with posture. Still a slight burn from the hot wings at lunch. *yikes*
______

Mons and Shan
Did not poop, NO WORRIES girls don't poop!
"You guys love us"
We love you guys so much along with this house can't wait to make great memories on Forest xoxo <3 Your poop is nasty! No need to log it but we love you guys, hopefully you'll learn to control it but <3 Love you guys very much <3
(Ya know what guys you really didn't have to lie to us about not pooping because I found a red cup and it was covered in feces so I mean the only logical thing to believe is that there was a little 2 girls 1 cup action... for christ sakes clean up next time and stay away from the spicy food!)
______

1/21/11

CHAV
4
"The mASSacre"
Asshole is burning I feel like I just pushed broken glass through my ass. Time to figure out how to relieve this burning feeling. Whipey's?
______

Dom
7
"The morning after pill"
I now know what it feels like to poop out a baby!
______

DUNF
6
"Shit on my dick"
While holding little Shane down when I clenched my cheeks together to pinch out a log the turd scraped my bird... SMH!
______

Selario
7
"The Smelly BANDIT"
This shit just robbed me of all my dignity and then proceeded to stink up the bathroom like a fuckin skunk.
______

DUNF
6
"The Dilemma"
OK its 11:33 PM and were out of fuckin TP... looks like were gonna have one less page in this notebook.
______

PRICK OF THE WEEK UPDATE:
Ok so 2 nights are in the books for this weekends festivities and so far in the running is Joe CHAV again but wait he's accompanied by Frank 2 times Selario for fighting last night with DUNF egging on the action on our glass covered floor could it be a TRIFECTA to take home the trophy this weekend. The intoxication resulted in a bloody nose for CHAV and a black eye for Frank the tank and severe abdominal pain for Bigboy from to much laughter along with a sore throat from yelling. But there is talks that someone once to challenge this Drunken 2 am charade and who but the ASIAN sensation rumor has it that he's about to go Marshall Mathers on everyones ass and dye his hair bleach blonde. HOLY SHIT i think I'd pee my pants if this happened and Morgantown will have to add a new member to the pedifle list look out 304!

STAY TUNED FOR MORE TO COME FROM 678!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

DAY 8 Lets find out what we ate

Day 8: 1/20/11 


CHAV
5
"BLACKOUT"
Blackish, smelly and wet. PROTEIN!!!! 
______


Selario 
3
"The Natural Stink Bomb"
Actually smells like a stink bomb your get from the ice cream man I love it! Everyone Loves the smell of their own brand! 
______


DUNF
6+2(CLOGGED)=8 
"LORD VOLDEMORT"
I felt like my ass was cursed and my poo was scary and ugly looking. The first thing that popped into my head was VOLDEMORT... Damn dat motherfuckers ugly! 
______


Selario 

"The B-52 BOMBER" 
BOMB BOMB BOMB... 1,2,3. 3 Massive Circle shaped turds exited my ass an destroyed the toilet like we destroyed Asian Brians homeland back in Nam <---- (Vietnam) 
______


Dom 
6
"THE FUCKING RASTA BURGER"
Jamaican Jerk Sauce. Enough said. 
______


DUNF
4
"The Gentlemen" 
No problem pushing or exiting he was dignified and was polite to both me and my ass. He left no mess and even said bye when I flushed him away.
______


Look Alive for Day number 9 were starting to get into the heart of the book and everyone in the house has really stepped their game up on THE SHIT LIST it must be all the home cooking that were starting to do.


Tonight starts the weekend for our annual PRICK OF THE WEEK contest who will take it home this weekend will Joe CHAV defend his title or will his financials say other wise? Wait and find out

SEND THIS BLOG TO YOUR FRIENDS AND TELL THEM TO SEND IT TO THERE FRIENDS LETS GET THIS BABY ON TOSH.0!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

It's Pottytime for the POO CREW DAY 6 and 7

Day 6: 1/18/11, 1/19/11


CHAV
5
"Sleeping Poopy" 
Beautiful turd. Good girth approximately 4 inches. Laid beautifully at the bottom of the bowl, it smiled at me. 
______

Mitch
6.5
"Stoned Poo"
One log that split in half and it sunk to the bottom like the Titanic.
______

DUNF
7
"The Bloody Pear"
After pushing twice I thought it was a false alarm then I felt some serious bal movement... I pushed as hard as I could it was so painful I bit down on my fist and gradually she made an easier exit. It reminded me of a pear both how it came out and when I looked at it the only thing missing was the stem. I wiped my ass and the TP was a bit bloody.
______

DOM
7
"Simple Sam"
There is nothing more enjoyable then just sitting down and just letting a hot one slip out.
______

DOM
1
"The assholes revenge"
As you can see these poops are back to back. The first was a beauty, this one has gotten it's payback on me. FUCK!
______


Selario
3
"The dump I never felt" 
After a hard day of legs at the gym it was impossible for me to sit on the bowl without feeling pain everywhere. I can't tell if I pooped already but my legs are killing me!  
______

The Shit List is finally starting to get good be sure to check tomorrow for some dirty dumps.




Monday, February 7, 2011

PIC OF THE WEEK

Every Monday from here on out were going to have a PIC OF THE WEEK and this is the first one so comment and feel free to send in pics that you think mite make the cut to shanetrain9@yahoo.com.

Why can't we be friends?
This geriatric tried to sell her only friends to me for 15$ some friend she is...

I'm feeling shitty TONY!!! DAY 4 and 5

Day 3 and 4: 1/16/11, 1/17/11 

DUNF

"The tour of shITALY"
Experienced a great meal at the Garden of Olive last night and I'm not ashamed to say that I couldn't finish the tour of Italy because the breadsticks and salad began to punch my B-hole and wanted out from the minute they hit my stomach. Pretty pungent scent the poops starting to hurt. Hopefully I'm not bleeding... my fingers are crossed!!!
______

Asian Brian
8
"The Morning After"
So I woke up feeling real good after my 11 hour nap and I just knew I was gonna have to shit. Last night I passed out before I would let go from our trip to the Garden. First off, god damn our bathroom looks clean. Second, It's too bad it doesn't smell that way anymore of must have shit 10 bricks.
______

Selario
1
"The NEEDLE dick"
This mite have been the skinniest longest thing I've ever seen.
______

1/17/11

Tyler
9
"The BABY"
I shit out a fucking baby, it was cute but smelt bad.
______

Selario
(liquid)
"The hurtin Squirtin"
After a protein shake my stomach hurt like shit no pun intended. I sat on the bowl and boom everything squirted out.
______

Asian Brian
9
"The Perfect Storm"
All throughout English I had a storm brewing up inside of me a couple of classmates definitely knew what was going on. I knew this shit was gonna be epic when I finally made it home. It did not disappoint, it took a painful 10 minutes for the storm to pass.
______

DUNF
9
"The Paint Peeler!!!"
As you may have noticed my last poo was almost 36 hours ago so my intestinal tract has been pushing for quite some time now and to be completely honest it smells like a dead body discovered at low tide and the fuckin paint is beginning to peel off the back of the bathroom door!!! Help me baby jesus!!!
______

Day 6 is coming soon feel free to comment I want to here about your shit in a non creepy kind of way and I hope you're ready for the PIC OF THE WEEK!





Sunday, February 6, 2011

it smells like a diaper DAY 3

Day 3: 1/15/11 

CHAV 
"Speaker Phone" 
Sitting here with no contractions so I knew it would be a while. Started calling people to make plans cause I got bored. As soon as i hit the speaker phone button during the call the gates of heaven had opened up, it was a very strange and powerful explosion of poop. 
______

DUNF
8
"The Mona Lisa"
A near perfect log created at the all you can eat buffet at Cici's. In all honesty I couldn't paint or draw a better shit and I fancy myself a decent artist. 
______

Selario
(liquid) 
"THE WATERFALL"
After an indulgence of free bread sticks and salad at the Olive Garden and a 15 minute car ride that should have been 5. My stomach was brewing up a beast finally when I got home after almost pooping my pants in the car the shit flew out of my ass like a god damn waterfall. 
______

CHAV 
3
"Round 1"
Through in a chew for some extra help relaxing the stomach. A few dumplings popped out into the bowl. Olive Garden doubled my hangover pain, this shit will resume later in what I'm guessing will be a liquid form...
______

Dom
"Everything I hoped for"
Something that didn't burn but came out real easy. Thank god cause I didn't think it would after that 4 night bender!
______ 

This weekends PRICK OF THE WEEK award ended up going to Joe Chav. He had quite the Thursday night he went to three different bars had girls pay for his cover and ended up pissing his pants and losing his phone. The next morning his phone was found by a friend in his apartment downtown. What really won Chav the award this week was the Friday morning comment "I could have fucked her, but I pissed my pants." Way to go Chav you're truely and inspiration to aspiring drunks across the Nation. The runner up this week was the douche that stole our keg shell, that was ballsy of you and we applaud your efforts, don't let us find you cause we will take you down to Chinatown and bust you with a steal pipe. 

Stay posted for Day 4 cause it's finally starting to get good. Catch yous on the flip, GO PACK